A CLE Stag Party
Spending a night you'll never forget (or discuss) in the CLE
By Adam Sockel
The bachelor party. A rite of passage for any groom who's about to take the plunge. The stag party is the ultimate guys' night out--even if no one ever discusses it again. And, what better location to commemorate one's last night of freedom, than in a city that celebrates it.
Here's a guess of how we see it playing out.
Your group assembles early in the day for an afternoon Tribe game.
There's Carl, the friend who only drinks watered-down American lagers despite being in arguably the best beer city in America. There's Jeff, who won't look up from his phone because he's Tinder'ing nonstop ("It's a numbers game," he says). There's Tony, who's bound to get sauced on craft beer and ultimately rekindle with an old acquaintance. There's Bobby, who never fails to get lost at some point. And then there's the groom, just looking for for some drinks, great memories and perhaps a little debauchery.
No doubt the crew will enjoy the warm Cleveland weather at the Corner Bar in Progressive Field while filling up on local craft beers and carbo-loading at Happy Dog and Momocho. As the game ends, you'll find yourself on West 25th St., where you'll do a quick bar hop starting at the Old Angle and working your way to Nano Brew, Market Garden and Great Lakes Brewing Company.
Dinner comes next and nothing says "bachelor party" like Brasa, a Brazilian steakhouse on West 9th St. where waiters walk around carrying slabs of meat and serve you until you can't eat anymore.
To burn some calories post dinner, you'll head to Punch Bowl Social for some bowling and karaoke. Jeff will somehow find one of the girls he's been texting all day and by the time you're done making fun of him, Bobby will have disappeared.
You stop at Portside Distilleryfor a locally made rum drink prior to heading to the JACK Casino (a bachelor party staple), where you'll find Bobby at a roulette table up $1,000. This works out great, because now he's buying for the rest of the night. After several failed attempts at hitting jackpots on Wheel of Fortune slot machines, you'll head back to The 9 where you're staying, for a rooftop bar nightcap at Azure Lounge.
In the morning, if you've done everything right, everyone will be nursing a hangover. Soak up everything in your stomach with a stack of sweet potato pancakes from Townhall in Ohio City. Might as well take the edge off with a Bloody Mary, too.
If your event was a one-night affair, however, you'll go your separate ways. Will you have left with many (albeit hazy) memories to last a lifetime? Absolutely. Will you ever speak of this night again? Never.