A CLE Stag Party
Spending a night you'll never forget (or discuss) in the CLE
By Adam Sockel, Image by Cody York
The bachelor party. A rite of passage for any groom who's about to take the plunge. The stag party is the ultimate guys' night out - even if no one ever discusses it again. And, what better location to commemorate one's last night of freedom, than in a city that celebrates it.
Your group assembles early in the day for an afternoon Tribe game.
There's Carl, the friend who only drinks watered-down American lagers despite being in arguably the best beer city in America. There's Jeff, who won't look up from his phone because he's Tinder'ing nonstop ("It's a numbers game," he says). There's Tony, who's bound to get sauced on craft beer and ultimately rekindle with an old acquaintance. There's Bobby, who never fails to get lost at some point. And then there's you, the groom, just looking for for some drinks, great memories and perhaps a little debauchery.
No doubt the crew will enjoy the warm Cleveland weather at the Corner Bar in Progressive Field while filling up on local craft beers and carbo-loading at Happy Dog and Momocho. As the game ends, you'll find yourself on West 25th Street where you'll do a quick bar hop starting at the Old Angle and working your way to Nano Brew, Market Garden and Great Lakes Brewing Company.
Dinner comes next and nothing says bachelor party like Brasa, a Brazilian steakhouse on West 9th where waiters walk around carrying slabs of meat and serve you until you can't eat any more.
To burn some calories post dinner you'll head to Punch Bowl for some bowling and karaoke. Jeff will somehow find one of the girls he's been texting all day and by the time you're done making fun of him Bobby will have disappeared.
You stop at Portside Distillery for a locally made rum drink prior to heading to the Horseshoe Casino (a staple of any bachelor party) where you'll find Bobby at a roulette table up $1,000. This will work out great because now he's buying for the rest of the night. After several failed attempts at hitting jackpots on Wheel of Fortune slot machines, you'll head back to The 9 where you're staying for a rooftop bar nightcap.
In the morning, if you've done everything right, everyone will be nursing a hungover. Soak up everything in your stomach with a stack of sweet potato pancakes from Townhall in Ohio City. Might as well take the edge off with a bloody mary, too.
If you're turning your party into a long weekend, you'll want to check out the Brew Bus tour starting with a flight at Platform Brewery.
If your event was a one-night affair, however, you'll go your separate ways. Will you have left with many (albeit hazy) memories to last a lifetime? Absolutely. Will you ever speak of these memories again? Never.